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Q: But if they’re missing that skill set, will this generation struggle more with intimacy?
A: There are lots of students who end up in relationships, often when a hookup turns into something more.
Bravado is a big part of what perpetuates hookup culture, but if you get students one-on-one, both young women and men, you hear about a lot of dissatisfaction and ambivalence. A: Students, in theory, will acknowledge that a hookup can be good.
A: Let me be clear: Every student I talked to was happy to have the option of hooking up.The hookup, on its own, becomes a norm for all sexual intimacy, rather than being a one time, fun experience. A hookup can be really great, in theory, but over time becomes jading and exhausting.Q: So you’re saying that the default mode for relationships for young people has become casual sex? Casual sex is not necessarily what happens in a hookup. The hookup has become the most common way of being sexually intimate on a college campus, and relationships are formed through serial hookups. A: It’s only problematic if people don’t like it, and if they’re not finding it fun or liberating.They end up feeling ashamed that they can’t be callous.Q: Do you think men and women are differently affected by the new sexual norms?