Avoid dating abused women
One day, he is caring and loving and wonderful, and the next he is hateful and raging and mean. You are afraid to talk, or when you do talk you feel like you are never heard, your words are taken out of context, misunderstood, or blatantly ignored. In the beginning of a relationship they might seem like everything you ever wanted….usually this is because they are trying to act like everything you ever wanted. You have no support group and therefore your partner gains more power. He or she might be mean to people they think are “below them” or people who are defenseless, like babies or children.
Like flipping a switch, he can change drastically from one extreme to the next. He or she acts one way when they are around you, but completely different around your parents, and completely different around their friends. Slowly, you lose your friends until you feel like your partner is the only person you have left. Your partner cycles from mean and vicious to sweet and loving, then back again. He might set traps for squirrels or rabbits and then torture them.
They might tell you you are not allowed to hang out with a certain person anymore, or wear a certain shirt, or go to a certain restaurant. Because they have a depressing family life, come from a broken home, had parents that didn’t love them right, are in debt, can’t hold a job, have a disease, a psychotic ex, a broken heart, low self-esteem….whatever their story is, they will make you feel sympathy for it. As real as they might be, and as sad as they might be, they are a trap that keeps you stuck. Abuse Is Not Romantic Art Blog Current Affairs Eleven Featured inspiration Links Outside Resources personal reflection Poetry quotes Rape Rape Culture Recovery Relationship Violence Resources for Victims Sex Sexual Assault Think About It Think About It Types of Abusers You Call This Love"According to a recent survey conducted by Liz Claiborne Inc.
They will make you feel like you are the one that is going crazy instead of them. You might worry about what you wear and what you say and freak out if someone changes your plans or something unexpected happens that you will have to explain later. You’re not quite sure what will set them off, but you are afraid that something you do is going to make them lose their temper… You might think that the Bears are the best football team–your partner will convince you that you are stupid for thinking so because they suck. They might talk about cheating on an old partner, or be proud of their reputation.
Or, if they do something nice for you, they feel entitled to a reward, and if you don’t do what they want, they are entitled to punish you. Your partner embarrasses you in front of other people or talks badly behind your back. They might talk to other people about how bad they have it and how hard it is to date someone like you.
They might call you fat in front of your friends, or make fun of your clothes. You don’t understand what went wrong, or why your partner acts the way they do or what you can do to make things better.
Your partner will play into this, claiming that other people are just jealous of what you have or are just trying to bring you two down. For example, if someone hurts them, they feel they have a right to retaliate.
If a teacher fails them, or a coworker says something bad about them, they feel entitled to revenge.